Tuesday, May 1, 2018

Moving Beyond Our Original Pain: Winters End

All of us are born into this world and bring or acquire deep, emotional pain. For those who believe in past lives, we bring painful experiences and memories into this life with our soul energy. Then we acquire more as we grow. For those who believe in one life, we acquire our pain between conception and age 7 (imprint stage), first from our mother's experiences and emotions during pregnancy and then as we grow from any primary parental figures. During this stage we are like a duckling, following along what we perceive to be normal, even if it's not because we don't know the difference. A duckling will eat, walk, sleep, be afraid of, and trust whatever the parent duck does. So the question is, what happens when the parent duck models behaviors that do not support a healthy life?

For example, the parent duck likes to sleep under cars at night, because of the cold. The duckling follows and for many years this is the norm for survival. However, when the duckling grows into adulthood, it flies to Florida and sleeping under cars at night is no longer relief from the cold for survival, but stressful due to the heat. The duckling continues this behavior because her mind has tied this behavior to survival. The duckling gets sick from the heat and seeks therapy or a coach and asks what many of you ask in coaching:

"How do I change a problem behavior? I dont know why I keep doing that when it clearly isnt good for me? I feel like I am on auto-pilot"

We don't know why some of our problem behavior continues, because that information is stored in our unconscious minds. That means we may not initially know if our problem behavior is tied to survival, a deeply held value, fear and/or a belief, established during those imprint years. Human behaviors are like software..much of which is downloaded into our unconscious mind before the age of 7 (7 is the age of consciousness).

Our unconscious mind is much like a computer. It is a vast hard drive with folders and files that contain every memory, whether its related to fear or joy. The unconscious minds intricate file system files memories based on visual, auditory, olfactory/gustatory and kinesthetic experiences. This is why we smile when we smell our grandmother's food or have a phobia when we hear or see something; it brings us back to the original experience. Even if we don't remember the original experience, we have physiological reactions to everything. I could say so much more about the unconscious mind, including the details of how amazing it is to contain the answer to every question! However, what I want to communicate here, is that when you are in a Therapeutic Coaching session, I can teach you to have a close relationship with your unconscious mind and together, we can use it as a tool to heal that original pain. This will give you a lot of relief. Changing problem behaviors can change our lives for the better.

One caveat: We could spend our entire lifetime revealing and healing old pain, and some of this is necessary, especially with major trauma. We are encouraged to seek a Therapeutic Coach to help us get to the root of that trauma to release, heal and transform it so we can have the life experiences we desire. Once we have done some of that challenging clean up work, it's important to move on, and move beyond our original pain, at our own pace of course.

To create the lives we want, we can choose to heal our original pain and when its good enough, we move forward towards designing our lives the way we prefer, the way we will thrive! We do not choose to live in our past pain and make ourselves and those around us miserable. Rather, we schedule "tune-ups" along the way when issues arise.

We actively choose to live in the joy of the now, while simultaneously experiencing pain, joy, fear, and love, because we are human.

I remain open to new clients at this time, what do you want to get rid of or change for the better?

 Dr. Nakita Savant

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