Summer Series: Rapid Anger: Swim Through It - Part I
When I was 13 my dad made me a punching bag to use when I was frustrated. He wrapped a 2x4 piece of wood with very thick padding so the bag was oblong. He used duck tape to wrap it up tight, hung it from the ceiling and connected it to the floor with springs, so it had some give.
I remember when he was done and had left, I took a permanent marker and drew his face on it.
I was angry with my biological father for not being around much as I was growing up or when he was around, he just wasnt present. This is the story of so many kids.
I put my boxing gloves on and began tapping the punching bag. It didn't take long for me to really get into it and feel that I was pushing out every bit of anger I had within me. I made angry faces and started to sweat and jump around. The bag swung forward and back at me with his face on it and I hit it hard.
Using this bag gave me great relief and often times when I was done punching it, I felt sad. The sadness that was buried beneath the anger was the primary emotion that was stuck. The grief of not having a loving, caring father was like the current at the bottom of the river. The rapids at the top of the river are like the anger that we show, and its a disguise for what was really going on underneath.
I was blessed to have a mother who encouraged the expression of all of my emotions, including my anger and grief. She knew that if it wasn't released, the current would get stronger and likely create havoc in my behavior. When we release anger, it opens us up to the grief at the core. If we dont swim through the rapids and dive to the bottom of the river, the current will pick up speed. When the current gets faster, we will feel very large waves of grief, that come more and more often, commonly referred to as "depression".
In today's world, it is rare to find an Anger Room to get our frustration and anger out. We have to find creative outlets that are safe and use these to be the humans we are. We are emotional creatures, it is how we are wired. Choose to swim through the rapids, even white caps, towards the bottom of the river and get with the current, the core of the river that is you. Swim with the current as often as it feels right for optimal health.
More to come on this...for now, Namaste,
Dr. Nakita Savant