How Do you Measure Your Worth?

There are many Therapeutic Coaching clients in my office who struggle with what other people may think of them; their mothers, co-workers, friends, even what strangers think of them, and especially those who they revere. They unconsciously decided at some point to measure their worth with mostly an External Frame of Reference and some have approval addiction. This frames almost all of their behavior and they are miserable and don't know why? They become human-doings, constantly assuming they know what others want them to be and move through life doing acrobats to please others and get reassurance (of which there is never enough).

When we are concerned about what others think of us, we are out of balance and experience anxiety and other emotions meant to wake us up and pay attention. It is the classic inferiority complex. We will never be liked by everyone, and we will never please everyone. Inferiority complexes lead to believing in victimhood which is a powerless position and a total lie because we ARE driving our own ship. Our mistake is that we are measuring our success on too much of an External References (our mother, friends, etc).

The oppositive of the External Frame of Reference is an Internal Frame of Reference. When we only ask ourselves how we are doing, we may not have an accurate reading due to our ego. This is the other extreme, the classic superiority complex. These folks become human-doings, to be the best and their entire lives are out of balance. This is a very lonely place and comes with many downtimes due to never being able to be the best at everything. They can never get enough reassurance from a dramatic ego that takes everything personally and can be a spiteful self-critic.

The middle, a healthy and balanced place is the Interiority, as Caroline McHugh describes it, in this short video. Using this place to measure our worth leads to being your true, authentic self and accessing the internal happiness that you were born with. Be sure to listen beyond the story of the Mirror, for the clear message:

Your value is non-negotiable, so with that in mind, what will you use to measure yourself with? How will you determine if you are doing/being good, doing/being what you were meant to be? How will you be a full and balanced human BEING.

Look inside, begin to develop your "Interiority", and then decide what you expect from this life and how you can be a Human Being for your own revelation and the Person of Your Dreams. Of course, if you need a coach to help you develop that Interiority, call and make an appointment with me. Together we will identify your personal strategies for balance.